Blue Moon
by Firenze Fox
Summary: The Marauders get a rude awakening in regards to their friend's secret. But will Remus still be alive to answer their questions? Rated T for gore!
1. Close Call

Christmastime at Hogwarts. For the four third-year boys who had the run of Gryffindor Tower, there was no better time in the world. The Marauders had spent the afternoon in a vicious snowball fight. James had recruited Hagrid, which resulted in a nearly immediate defeat for the other three boys. They were now convened in the common room, sipping hot cocoa that Mickey, one of the insanely happy house elves that worked at Hogwarts, had brought up for them.  
To no one's surprise, Remus had asked for extra chocolate with his.  
Remus Lupin was curled up in one of the overstuffed red couches that surrounded the fireplace in the common room, watching James Potter and Sirius Black, his two best friends, play an increasingly violent game of wizard chess. Peter Pettigrew sat on the floor beside them, cheering excitedly whenever a pawn got whacked off the board.  
Peter Pettigrew…  
Remus had never really had a good feeling about him. He seemed too ready to switch sides if the power balance changed, too reliant on those with power to protect him. However, James and Sirius tolerated him, so eventually, Remus did too.  
Besides, he wasn't exactly in a position to be picky regarding friends.  
Remus Lupin was a werewolf. Once a month, on the night of the full moon, he transformed into a bloodthirsty monster. The headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, had taken the precaution of setting up a hideout in the Shrieking Shack for him, so when he transformed, he couldn't get out to bite people.  
It was unfortunate but necessary that the wolf then turned on itself.  
Remus shifted uncomfortably. Since he woke up, he had been feeling rather ill and achy… exactly how he usually felt like on the day of a full moon. But he had checked and double-checked his lunar calendar. The next full moon was in two weeks-certainly not today.  
So why did he feel like it was?  
Night had fallen. Soon enough, the moon would be rising. A _waxing gibbous _moon. Not a full one.  
Peter had changed positions. He was now reclining on the window seat, staring out at the starry sky. Remus moved to get a better view of the chessboard when Peter's excited squeal interrupted them.  
"Guys! Guys! Look! It's a blue moon!"  
Remus froze. That would explain everything. He transformed during a blue moon as well, but since they were so rare, he never really took them into consideration.  
Now he regretted it. And if Peter could already tell, then there was no way that he would be able to make it down to the Shrieking Shack on time. He could already feel his bones shifting, and he was in here with his _friends…his friends…_  
They would die if he didn't think of something.  
James and Sirius had leapt up at Peter's exclamation and were now gazing out the window, exclaiming at the beauty of the rare sight.  
Remus looked around, desperate. He caught sight of the bathroom.  
_The bathroom…_  
Not ideal, but it would have to do.  
"GUYS!" Remus shouted. "Guys, listen, please, we don't have time!"  
It was the fact that Remus never yelled that caught their attention. All three turned towards him, with identical looks of concern on their faces.  
"Guys, I need you to-" He broke off for a moment, fighting the inner wolf down.  
_Just a few minutes, please, just a few more minutes-  
_James moved towards him, reaching out a hand. Remus stumbled backwards. "Peter, go get McGonagall. This is important! James-Sirius-put as many protective wards as you can on the bathroom door-don't let the wolf-don't let me- DON'T LET ME GET OUT!"  
Somehow, James and Sirius knew that this was an emergency. With a squeak, Peter stumbled out of the portrait hole, and Remus listened to his hurried footsteps move down the hallway. Sirius took a step towards him. "Remus…Remmy…what's going on?"  
Remus gasped-the wolf had made another lunge to the surface, and it was all he could do to keep it in. "Just…please…I'll tell you when I come back out, I just-please, can you do this without arguing for once? Please!"  
James and Sirius looked at each other and nodded. Remus staggered into the bathroom and locked the door. He smiled wryly as he heard the _thud-thud-thud _of protective charms hitting the door. The grin was wiped from his face as his back arched, and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Then the wolf leapt out, and he faded away.

**A/N: One review. That's all I need to update!**


	2. Realizations

**A/N: Oh…my…god…  
Four reviews in less than 5 hours? You guys rock! And here are my replies! Sadly, three of you were anonymous, so I can't thank you properly, but I'll try my best all the same!**

**Guest: Hauntedpumpkin56: Awww, thank you! I tried my best! Cool username, by the way! :D**

**Guest: Meow: Thanks for the recommendation, that's what I did for this one! (I'll fix the first chapter as soon as I can figure out how.) And now I finally know what authors feel like when they get to torture readers with cliffhangers. Sorry for the major cliffhanger on this one! *evil laugh* **

**BlueBay144: Thanks! Hope you enjoy this one!**

**And finally, lots of virtual cookies and hugs to…**

**Guest: Wow: My first reviewer and love ya for it! I was dancing around my room when I read your review, and as for the cliffhanger… *evil laugh* Again, I apologize for the cliffhanger on this one, I'll try my best to update soon!**

**Ok, enjoy, guys! Sorry for the super long A/N!**

James and Sirius fired ward after ward at the bathroom door, only stopping when they had completely and utterly exhausted their knowledge. James turned to Sirius, with a look of puzzlement and concern on his face. "Sirius? What's going-"

His question was interrupted by a scream so filled with agony that the two boys could hardly comprehend the fact that it must have came from Remus. _Their friend _Remus. Sirius leapt up and started for the door, but James held him back.

"Can't you _hear _him, James? That is _Remus. Our friend _Remus! He's in pain! He's in pain and we have to help him! We can't just-"

"SIRIUS!" yelled James, his voice cutting through the fog of panic that surrounded his mind. "We can't! Remember what he said? We can't!"

Sirius just stared at him, unable to even conceive of a situation in which he couldn't help one of his friends. But then-

"_Don't let the wolf-don't let me- DON'T LET ME GET OUT!"_

Oh, yes. He remembered. And he realized.

"_James,_" Sirius breathed, his eyes wide. "Remus is -"

But before Sirius could finish, the two friends heard something that sent shivers down their spine. The pain-filled screams of their best mate had made the transition into something more feral, more wild, more _wolfish_…

James's eyes widened to match Sirius's. "-_A_ _werewolf,_" he completed. He repeated it again, in a wondering voice. _"_Remus is a _werewolf._"

Before their thoughts could go any farther, the portrait hole came bursting open, and in came Professor McGonagall, her eyes flashing and her wand held at the ready. Peter stumbled in behind her, looking terrified. "Boys?" she said.

James and Sirius had never been so pleased in their lives to hear that no-nonsense tone.

"Professor, is it-"

"True that Remus is a-"

"_Werewolf?_"

Surprisingly, that last one came from Peter, his face paper-white. "Is it true?" he repeated hesitantly. "Is Remus really a…Dark Creature?" James and Sirius exchanged looks.

"He's a werewolf, Pete, not a _Dark Creature_."

"And besides, he's-"

"Still _Remus_, right?"

"Well, of _course_! We need to talk-"

"To him? Agreed, and we need to-"

"Let him know that he's still-"

"Our friend!"

"Right?"

"`Course!"

Sirius and James looked at Peter.

"You do what you like," declared Peter obstinately. "I'm not sharing a _dormitory_ with _it _any longer."

"_Mr. Pettigrew."_ McGonagall's sharp voice cut through the tension surrounding the three boys. "We will assign you to another dormitory, but you are not to speak of Mr. Lupin's condition, on pain of expulsion, do you understand?"

Peter stared at her and nodded, hightailing it out of the dormitory. McGonagall sighed, finally lowering her wand. "Well, boys, I must admit that I am impressed. Your wards were rather advanced for third years. I have reinforced them, but now I'm afraid that all we can do is wait."

"But _Professor_," Sirius burst out. "He will be ok, won't he?"

A faint flicker of what looked suspiciously like surprise showed in McGonagall's green eyes before she sighed again, lowering herself onto a scarlet armchair. "I don't know, Mr. Black," she confessed. "I honestly don't know. And," she held up a hand, forestalling the flood of questions. "I will not tell you anything. Mr. Lupin deserves the right to tell you himself."

A sound of vicious ripping came from the bathroom, accompanied by another howl.

"Professor?" James asked nervously. "Erm…what's that?"

The elderly witch exhaled heavily. "I suppose it will not do Remus any harm to let you know that. Every month, when he is…confined…in the absence of human prey, the wolf turns on itself, and wounds inflicted by a werewolf cannot be healed fully by magic. He will…not be in the best of form when he comes out, Mr. Potter."

Sirius and James exchanged horrified glances, but neither could seem to find anything to say.

And so two young boys and one Hogwarts professor sat in the Gryffindor common room, watching the merrily dancing flames and waiting for the sun to rise.

It had never seemed to take so long.

Eventually, the first rays of sunlight stretched over the horizon, but the three members of the deserted common room only noticed when the agonized howls became human screams once again. Once Sirius registered this, he stood up, nearly upsetting his abandoned cup of hot chocolate, and lunged for the door. However, McGonagall got there first.

"Let…me…IN!" He snarled, struggling against James. "It's _Remus_ in there, James! It's _Remus _who's screaming bloody murder! LET ME IN!"

"Mr. Black," snapped McGonagall. "Please. We must wait until there is no sound. Often the voice is one of the first things to change back. Give it a moment."

However, Sirius's patience ran out when he heard a soft thud on the floor, and then nothing. It seemed that this was the breaking point for James's nerves as well. Both of them sprinted towards the door, dodged McGonagall, and threw open the door. The sight that met their eyes was horrifying.

The bathroom looked like a battlefield. Blood was splattered all over the walls and ceiling, and James nearly threw up as he recognized chunks of flesh all over the floor. However, the worst sight that met their eyes was Remus. He looked like a chunk of raw meat, torn and ripped and smeared with blood.

It didn't look like he was breathing.

"REMUS!"


	3. Shocks and Worry

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Yes, the disclaimer isn't funny or original. I'm tired. Deal with it.**

**Three more reviews! Love ya all!**

**Wow (again): Hello, Wow again! I love your reviews!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I am so evil, right? :D I don't know, I might make Remus die, might not…HIS LIFE IS IN MY HANDS! *evil laughter* And I am a sick and twisted person, I love putting my characters through misery…hehehehehe…  
Thank you for the compliments! *happy dance* And enjoy the chapter!**

**Meow: You're very welcome! And ohhhh, ok, I thought so, I'll change that when I get the chance, thanks for bringing that to my attention! Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

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**Once again, thanks for all the reviews, this time I'm asking for FOUR to update! Pretty please? Ok now, enjoy the chapter! On with the show!**

_The bathroom looked like a battlefield. Blood was splattered all over the walls and ceiling and James nearly threw up as he recognized chunks of flesh all over the floor. However, the worst sight that met their eyes was Remus. He looked like a chunk of raw meat, torn and ripped and smeared with blood._

_It didn't look like he was breathing._

_"REMUS!"_

Sirius nearly flew over to the limp body of his best friend, laying face down on the bathroom floor. "Remus…please don't be dead, please don't be dead…_please don't be dead…_"

James followed, slipping and sliding on the blood soaked tiles. "Is he…" James's voice cracked. "Is he alive?"

"I don't know," admitted Sirius, looking up at James, and James was startled to see the depth of despair that they held. "I can't even tell."

They heard a gasp from behind them, and the two boys whirled around, wands out, only to find Professor McGonagall staring at the scene of carnage that presented itself before her. She hurried over, placing her fingers on Remus's mangled wrist, before giving a sigh of relief.

"He's alive. But we need to get him to the hospital wing, and fast. Come here, you two," she ordered. The two boys obliged, and Sirius recognized the feeling of something cold trickling down his spine as a disillusionment charm. McGonagall did the same to herself and Remus, and then, gently lifting Remus onto a conjured stretcher, levitated the stretcher out of the common room. The two distraught third years followed behind her.

"Poppy!" McGonagall shouted once they reached the hospital wing. "Poppy, come quickly, it's Mr. Lupin!"

The young healer with auburn hair and warm brown eyes hurried over. "Yes, I've been waiting for him, I realized half-way through the night, but then I received your Patronus, so-"

Madam Pomfrey suppressed a scream as she caught sight of the battered body that lay on the stretcher, staining the cloth with red. "Oh, Dear Lord," she exclaimed. "Quickly, put him down over there. It's never been quite so bad before."

Sirius stared. "Before? You mean-"

James elbowed him. "Sirius, you bloody dolt! He goes through this _every month_, and-"

Sirius sank down onto one of the nearby hospital beds. "And he _never told us_, James. He hid this from us! Every month! And remember when we teased him about being too weak-"

"And tired-"

"And grumpy-"

"And fragile-"

"_What must that have sounded like to Remus, _James? He must have felt…"

Sirius trailed off, and both boys just sat in miserable silence until Professor McGonagall returned and was immediately bombarded with a flood of questions, all centering on Remus.

"He's gonna be ok, right?"

"What did Madam Pomfrey mean, it's never been this bad?"

"How bad has it been before?"

"But he's still gonna be ok, right?"

"I mean, Madam Pomfrey's a miracle worker. She'll fix him up, right?"

"And there's always St. Mungo's, I mean, they can fix anything!"

"Is there anything we can do to-"

"BOYS!"

The exasperated professor's voice rang throughout the hospital wing. The two Marauders immediately fell silent, looking up into the old witch's tired face.

"Mr. Lupin tears himself up every full moon rather than attack other humans. The cause of this one being particularly harsh is, I suspect, a combination of several factors. The blue moon is certainly one. It causes the werewolf to become particularly energized, and if there is nothing to take his frustration out on, the wolf targets itself."

Sirius flinched internally at the word "itself," but otherwise stayed silent.

McGonagall paused and took a deep breath. Somehow, seeing the normally unshakable professor lose her composure was one of the scariest things that the two boys had seen all night.

"Mr. Lupin usually has to stay in the hospital wing for three or four days after each transformation. As I said before, wounds inflicted by a werewolf cannot be healed fully using magic, so Madam Pomfrey often has to use Muggle means. And as for Saint Mungo's-" McGonagall spat the word out- "they do not accept werewolves into their care."

James exploded. "WHAT?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HOW IS THAT RIGHT? JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF PREJUDICED BIGOTS-"

Sirius yanked him back down into his seat. "James, trust me on this one. I'm just as worried as you are, but right now I'm more concerned about Remus." The grey-eyed third year looked anxiously back up at McGonagall and repeated the question that had already been asked. "I mean, he is going to be ok, right?"

McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. "Boys, I'm not going to lie to you. Mr. Lupin's injuries are very severe, and he is in critical condition." She looked back at the two of them, noting their worried faces and inwardly marveling at the fact that they did not seem to be at all frightened. "I am not sure if he is going to make it through the night."

James and Sirius felt their world collapsing around them. Dimly, Sirius heard himself ask, "Can we…can we go in and see him?"

McGonagall cocked her head to the side, studying them. "Very well. I do hope-" McGonagall's voice caught in her throat for a moment. "Mr. Lupin is one of my favorite students. I do hope that he will be alright."

With that, the dignified witch in the emerald green cloak swept out of the hospital wing, leaving the two boys alone to try and organize their world that had been thrown into chaos in a single evening. Sirius suddenly remembered something.

"_Peter_," he growled. "That little…how _could _he? Remus practically carried him through exams! Remus lied to keep the little prat out of detention! We thought he was our _friend_!"

James sighed. "I know, Sirius. I can't believe it either. But don't worry. He'll come around eventually. He just needs a little time, yeah?"

"What else can we do, Jamesie?" replied Sirius morosely.

"Don't call me Jamesie," James mock growled at Sirius in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Only Remus gets to call me-"

The truth of the situation suddenly dropped on the two boys like a bomb.

Remus might not call anyone anything again.


	4. Do You Remember?

**A/N: Holy crap I love you all! So many reviews! *happy dance* Anyway, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea se don't come chasing after me with pitchforks and torches, life has been evil lately…  
Me: Life is good! I have some spare time, I think I'm going to update my fanfic!  
Life: Oh, hehe, hang on one second…  
So…yeah. Anyways, here are my review replies! Thank you so much again for all the reviews!  
Bluebay144: Sorry, don't want to give anything away quite yet! *evil laugh* Thanks for your awesome support!  
Meow: Thanks, and believe me, I will! I'll try my best not to take so long to update again!  
Myan: What can I say? Your absolute enthusiasm is one of the reasons that I finally decided to update-I was feeling really guilty! Thanks, and enjoy the chapter!  
xXCOMMANDERXx: Oh, hello again! I'll get to work on Secrets Bathed In Moonlight soon, I've just been sooooo busy! I do think that it is a brilliant idea, though! Enjoy this chapter!  
Guest: Um, thanks, I think… XD  
But honestly, thanks for the review! This is my first fanfic, so all reviews are loved! Here's the chapter demanded!  
Guest: Thanks! Enjoy the chapter!  
dancer4813: Awwww, thanks! I love your writing too! And usually I don't let anything slip about the future of a fanfic, but I will say this: I HATE Peter, so don't count on him rejoining the Marauders anytime soon. Oh, and is your name really Megan? Because that's my name too! Enjoy the chapter!  
pigs103: …Interesting username! :D And thanks for the review, this is the one that actually reminded me that I do have a story to update! Enjoy!  
****Wowowowowow: You are AWESOME! I love your reviews, and I hope that this chapter lives up to your (unreasonably high) expectations! Oh, and Peter needs to be fed to the Giant Squid. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Blue Moon, Chapter 4: Do You Remember?**

James and Sirius peeked around the edge of the door. They could see a prone figure lying on the hospital bed with Madam Pomfrey bustling around. James leaned over further, trying to see more but at the same time trying not to incur the matron's wrath.

Further…further…just a tiny bit further…

And he tripped over Sirius's crouching figure and landed sprawled in the middle of the floor. Madam Pomfrey turned and the two boys winced, expecting to get a long, long lecture on the importance of being quiet in the hospital wing, not disturbing her patients, being careful around her potions, etc., etc. However, the two boys were stunned when instead, she gave them both a weak smile and helped them up. Sirius wasted no time.

"Madam Pomfrey, how's Remus? Can we see him?"

The matron grimaced as she wiped her hands on her apron. James and Sirius noticed with horror that her hands left trails of bright, red blood on the starched white smock. "I've…stabilized him, but that…that is the best that I can say." She studied the two anxious boys in front of her. "You really don't care, do you."

"No, ma'am," said Sirius earnestly. "He's our best mate, why would we care if he has a…has a…"

"A furry little problem!" interjected James. Both Sirius and Madam Pomfrey turned to stare at him. "What?" he said defensively. "It makes perfect sense!"

Madam Pomfrey shook her head in bemusement and turned away. "Go ahead," she conceded. "But call me if anything changes, understand?"

Both James and Sirius nodded vehemently. Neither of them had any wish to get on the wrong side of the formidable healer- they valued their lives too much.

Plus, they just really, really, _really _wanted to see Remus.

Sirius and James looked at each other. Sirius bravely decided to make the first move, and led the way into the room, James following. When they reached the edge of the only bed, Sirius took a deep breath and looked down, and immediately felt the urge to puke.

Remus was barely recognizable. More than 80% of his body was wrapped in bandages, and he looked deathly-_No, no,no, bad choice of words there, Sirius, _he scolded himself- _really _pale. His breathing was ragged, and when Sirius's eyes moved up to his face, he really did throw up all over the hospital floor. Five deep, long claw marks stretched from his left ear, across his closed left eye, across the bridge of his nose, all the way to his right cheekbone. Sirius took a step back, and only then did he notice the fact that Remus's bandages were becoming ever more deeply stained with blood. He turned to James beside him, who looked nearly as pale as Remus himself.

"Oh, Merlin," James whispered brokenly.

Wordlessly, the two boys pulled up chairs to sit beside their unconscious friend. Sirius took a deep breath, and started talking.

"Hey, mate…remember when we set off fireworks in Snivellus's cauldron? And he got a faceful of swelling solution? And his nose grew to be the size of a watermelon? He looked like a mutated vulture, Rem! Do you remember?"

James let out a weak laugh. "Ol' Sluggy never did figure out who did it, mate. Personally, I think that he found it kinda funny…I could see his moustache twitching the way it does when he's trying not to laugh. Remember, Remmy? And you were the one who figured out the right number of fireworks to toss in, just enough so the whole classroom wouldn't go up in flames? You know, Remmy, if we didn't have you, we'd all be de-" James's voice broke, and then resumed, albeit a little bit more shakily. "-have been blown up."

Sirius nodded vigorously. "And remember when we transformed the Great Hall into a skating rink the day before the Christmas holidays started last year, mate? Admittedly, you were the one who did most of the spellwork, but hey- where would you be without our creativity? And Dumbledore thought it was rather funny, and gave us the day off to practice skating techniques, and Minnie was practically blue in the face? Do you remember, mate?"

James sat up a little straighter. "And remember the prank that we ended last year with? Do you remember how we enchanted all the desserts to fly straight at the Slytherin table? And how Malfoy looked up just in time for a plate of chocolate pudding to fall on his face? And how Snivellus looked covered in whipped cream? Do you remember that, Rem?"

Sirius leaned in close, taking one of Remus's limp, bloody hands in his warm, callused one. "Remmy, we have plans to make a giant robot out of the suits of armor. Wouldn't that be fantastic, mate? We'd be legends! But we need you to do all the research for us, mate. We wouldn't be caught dead in the library, but you already know that. Do you remember when you were nagging us to study for History of Magic exams, and you said that it was best to study in whichever way appealed to you most? And for us, it was hands-on? And we built a fort in the library out of the history books, and reenacted the Goblin Wars of 1643? Do you remember?"

James and Sirius stayed by Remus's side for hours, regaling him with stories of past pranks and plans for future ones until their voices grew horse. Finally, Sirius leaned in once more, and the tears that he'd held back for the past hours finally fell down his face. "Remus John Lupin, don't you dare d-d-die on us, you hear me? _We don't care if you're a werewolf_, Rem. To us, you're Remus, Marauder, nerd, best friend, Hogwarts' resident chocoholic and so much more. Peter is a prat, mate, don't worry about him. I never really liked him much anyway, the little rat. Please, come back, Remmy. We miss you, mate. Please, please, _please_, just come back."

Sirius looked over at James, slightly startled to see that his face was streaked with tears as well. "Remus, for Merlin's sake, listen to him. I'm not destined to put up with his annoying prattling for eternity, my job is to join in, and you're the one who keeps us out of trouble. You're the one who plays wizard chess and Gobstones with us and beats us both every time. You're the one who comes down to visit Hagrid with us and always Vanishes our rock cakes because we all know that if we actually try to eat it, then we'll break a tooth. You're the one who leads the way to the kitchens every night because you're so eager to get some chocolate. You're the one who sits up with us until 3 in the morning for midnight feasts even though you insist that we should get to bed because we have classes the next day. You're the one who throws pillows at me when I try to wake you up in the morning, and then switches to heavy textbooks if I keep on trying. You're one of us, mate, and _we don't care_. Just wake up, Remmy, please." James glanced over at Sirius. "We'll be right back, ok? We have a certain rat to talk to."

James and Sirius stood up abruptly, Sirius lingering an extra moment to brush a long strand of hair, matted with blood, away from Remus' s sweaty forehead. "Be right back, Rem," he whispered softly. "Don't do anything stupid."

And with that, the two boys left the hospital wing in search of a traitorous rat, a confrontation that both Marauders were actually looking forward to.

You know, in an angry, vengeful, murderous type of way.


	5. Confrontations On Both Sides

They found him under one of the desks near the back of the library, near the books containing borderline dark magic. He looked so terrified that Sirius couldn't help but feel some of his anger leak away. Surely, _surely_, shy little Remus with his heavy books and amber eyes and golden, silver-streaked hair couldn't be the cause of this.

Surely not…

He slipped under the desk and put a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Oi, Pete," called James. "You alright? What's wrong?"

Peter whimpered. "Is it gone? Is it locked up yet?"

For a moment, Sirius had absolutely no idea as to what he was talking about.

"I can't believe a _thing _like that was running around Hogwarts with us! What was Dumbledore thinking, letting it into the-"

And then it all became very clear.

He was talking about _Remus._

Sirius stared at Peter, his face contorted in horror. How could this be Peter? The Peter that he'd known for two and a half years? The Peter who accompanied them down to the kitchen at 2 in the morning, the Peter who would cheer on Sirius and James at Quidditch matches, standing in the bleachers in his Gryffindor hat and scarf, the Peter who would laugh at every single thing that James said, even if it wasn't funny-

And with that thought, a darker side of Peter made itself apparent in Sirius's mind.

The Peter that had sold them out to McGonagall when she announced that whoever knew who the perpetrators of the Great Flying Desserts Prank were would not be punished for their participation in the prank if they turned the other participants over. The Peter that stood behind James and Sirius, not with them, when they had stepped between Remus and his Slytherin bullies.

The Peter that was cowardly.

The Peter that was prejudiced.

The Peter that wasn't a true Marauder.

And never would be.

Red clouded Sirius's vision, and he grabbed the lapels of Peter's shirt, scrabbling awkwardly to get out from under the table. James grabbed the back of Peter's shirt and…_helped_…him out.

"You _bastard, _Peter. You absolute, fucking, _bastard, _you, you-" James stumbled over his words, trying to find language that was sufficient enough to indicate his complete and utter abhorrence-

Oh, to hell with big words. That was Remus's job.

Speaking of Remus…

James yanked Peter up by his arm-not being particularly gentle, either-and strode out of the library in the direction of the hospital wing, Sirius beside him.

Peter's eyes widened. "No! No, I'm not going near it, you can't make me-"

Sirius glared at him.

Peter shut up.

They made their way to the hospital wing in silence.

Then, James paused.

"Sirius? Did you hear that?"

Sirius cocked his head, listening carefully.

The strange noise came again.

"Definitely not just you, James." Sirius cracked the door open carefully, and then the door fell open the rest of the way as his hand went slack.

Remus was on his hands and knees near the door, a disgusting mixture of blood and bile splattering onto the floor in front of him. He looked up, watery amber eyes connecting with horrified stormy grey ones.

Sirius couldn't believe it. What the hell was going on? Remus had been unconscious, nearly dead, and was now awake, and had apparently moved.

And was-quite obviously-in a lot of pain.

Sirius jolted himself awake and moved forward, reaching out a hand that he had no idea what he was going to do with except for the fact that Remus was in pain, _Remus was in pain and Sirius couldn't do anything to help him_-

But Remus flinched. Remus flinched back and in that moment, both James and Sirius recoiled because Remus, their Remus, was scared of them.

And that drove shards of ice into their hearts.

"Remus?" Sirius tried hesitantly, crouching down carefully. "Remus, are you with us?"

Remus…flickered. There was no other way to put it. He just…flickered.

Flickered between the wolf and the boy.

Flickered between the side that wanted friends so, so badly and the side that just didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

Flickered between the side that was so, so tired and the side that had to keep _ runningrunningrunningrunningrunning_ because that was all he knew how to do, because that was all he could do to stop being hurt.

Flickered between the Marauder and the monster.

Flickered between whole and broken.

Sirius crept over to the boy who was just kneeling there, his hands on his knees turned upwards as though pleading, his eyes staring at nothing, and his robes becoming increasingly stained with blood. He put a gentle hand on his shoulder, attempting to get his attention, but this simple movement appeared to push Remus over the edge. He recoiled sharply and started babbling.

"Please-please-they'll kill me-my father-ministry-silver ax-please-Romulus-so sorry, sorry, sorry, _please-"_

Remus was crying, now, and Sirius's heart was clenching so tightly it was painful. He was dimly aware that Peter had left the room, running to find a teacher, probably, and he was wishing that Remus would do anything, _anything_ else-punch him, run, yell, anything, just so that Sirius and James did not have to sit here, helpless, and watch a strong boy be torn to pieces by his demons.

Sirius hesitated, and then, completely at a loss for what else to do, simply leaned over and hugged him, drawing the younger, skinnier boy into his arms. James leaned over and did the same on Remus's other side. The lycanthrope tensed, shaking, and tried futilely to get out of the grip. But James and Sirius remained, and eventually, Remus's body relaxed, slowly.

He had been fighting for a long, long, time.

It wasn't worth it anymore.

And finally, _finally_, darkness overtook him.

James and Sirius shared a panicked glance as they felt Remus go completely limp.

"Come _on_," hissed James. "We're going to have to carry him."

Sirius carefully slid both his hands under Remus's arms, and James took hold of his feet. Gently, they lifted him over to his bed. Remus moaned, and Sirius physically flinched at how much pain this must be causing his friend, even while unconscious.

A few moments after getting Remus situated on the bed, Madam Pomfrey came rushing in, her arms full of potion bottles.

"I was simply getting some more blood-replenishing potions from Professor Slughorn, and then-oh, _goodness,_ what on earth happened?"

Without waiting for an answer, she bustled over to Remus, brushing the two boys aside.

"Right-Mr. Black- fetch me some fresh bandages from the cabinet over there, if you would," she called distractedly.

"Um-yeah, alright," Sirius replied, and, running over to the cabinets, paused.

"Erm…which cabinet-oh, fuck it." Sirius started banging the cabinet doors open and closed, looking for the one that had bandages in it.

"MR. BLACK! Would you please keep the noise-"

"AHA! Found it!"

Madam Pomfrey pinched the bridge of her nose and grabbed the bandages that Sirius was offering, hastily redressing and re-bandaging the reopened wounds.

Sirius and James felt slightly useless.

After a few tense moments, during which the matron threatened to throw them both out of the infirmary approximately half a dozen times, she sat back and relaxed, wiping a bloodstained hand on her apron.

"He'll be alright, you two. I'll be in my office. Call me if there is the slightest change in his condition, alright?"

The two boys nodded wordlessly.

"I'm afraid that all we can do now is wait," Madam Pomfrey said gently, and with that, she disappeared into her office.

And so they did.

**A/N. Ok, I am fully aware that you are all probably running after me with pitchforks and torches, right now, but PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I am so, so sorry for not updating for…what, four months now? Ouch. Well, anyways, now it's summer vacation, and I'm thinking only one or two more chapters left. I'm also thinking of doing a sequel in which Peter outs Remus's werewolf status to Gryffindor house, titled Lions Stand Together (or something like that). Please review with ideas!**

**Also, here are my replies to anonymous reviewers who I couldn't track down.**

**Meow: I love you. Ok? I love you, and am so, so sorry for not updating sooner. You are one of the few who has stuck with me and my awful writing skills since the very first chapter. I hope that you enjoy this one if you're still checking on it!**

**LaLo: Hey girl, love you! Not sure if you're going to check back on this, but if you do, then I hope you enjoy it, and have a good summer! See you next year!**

**Ok guys, since it's summer, I'll probably be updating more regularly now, rather than the spasmodic updates I was giving you before, as long as I a) don't get writer's block, and b) DO get a lot of reviews!**

**Reviewers get to hug Moony!**


	6. Enveloping Darkness

**A/N: Yeah, I know you all want to kill me, but hey, at least it wasn't four months again this time, only two…  
Yeah, ok, really weak defense, and I AM SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY!  
This chapter is dedicated to freshly caught Cornish pixies because your reviews are just so freaking EPIC and Meow3594. Meow3594 is the only reviewer to have reviewed EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER from the very first one, so I give you a huge thank you and will bury you in a mound of virtual cookies if you review this one as well! (And your reviews are also incredibly motivational, in answer to your question, so I cannot say thank you enough!)  
Once again, your reviews are appreciated more than you could possibly imagine, and thanks to all those who followed and favorite! To my wonderful Guests, thanks so much for reviewing, and as for now…enjoy the chapter!**

Ow.

Ow.

_Owwwwwwww…._

Remus's one working eye flickered open as he became fully cognizant of the waves of pain racking his body.

_Owwwwwwww…._

This time, something worked his way from between chapped lips.

"Ugh…"

Well, he never claimed that it would be eloquent.

Trying his best to minimize the pain, Remus lay absolutely still while trying to organize the many and varied memories floating around his head.

Feeling extraordinarily wolf-like even though it was nowhere near the full moon...

Peter's pudgy face, flushed red with excitement, pointing to the moon outside the window…

A blue moon…

Sirius's panicked face…

James's widening hazel eyes, magnified behind his glasses…

The _thudthudthudthud _of protective charms hitting the doorway…

Somewhere inside his befuddled mind, the connection was made, and he jerked upwards, and then fell back again as spasms of pain wracked his bony frame.

His friends, his friends, his friends, oh god, oh god- _OhgodohgodhisfriendshisfriendsJamesSiriusPeter-_

Remus inhaled, a huge, shaking breath as he wrapped his bloody arms around his shaking shoulders.

They were ok. He was sure they were ok, he'd heard them, he knew he'd heard them…

No. No, Remus was just deluding himself now. Why would they come back here, back to the side of a bleeding, dirty freak, a monster whose own father couldn't even stand the sight of him?

_(But he'd been so sure he'd heard them…)_

_They were ok._

He knew that much, they must be ok- he would be waking up to the sound of a silver ax being sharpened if they weren't.

Remus suddenly realized his breathing had stuttered to a halt entirely during his little panic attack.

He took immediate steps to remedy this.

Remus watched his bandaged chest move- shakily at first, but then increasingly steadily as he regained control over himself. He shut his emotions away into a deep corner of his mind, back with the beatings and the silver pokers and the faces barely concealing their disgust as cold, uncaring hands stitched up his wounds and sent him out again, back into a world of prejudice and nightmares and abuse-

_STOP!_

Right.

Right.

(_He'd heard them, he _knew _he'd heard them…)_

He had to get out of here.

Had to leave, had to run, back to his father's house where he would be hidden, if only to protect his father's position in the Ministry.

Remus swung his legs over the edge of the bed, stolidly ignoring the full-body ache that suddenly and violently intensified, and also ignored the fact that the imaginary barrier he'd hastily constructed was dangerously close to crumbling.

_(But he'd heard them, they'd been _here_…)_

Get his things from the dormitory. Right. Hopefully they wouldn't be in there.

Hopefully.

_(But what if they didn't hate him, because they were _here_...)_

Remus stumbled in the direction of the door, leaning heavily on the wall.

Leaving, yes, leaving, now, leaving behind Gryffindor Tower and the kitchen raids and study sessions and snowball fights and _oh, god_-

The dam broke.

Remus fell to his knees as cracks spread in his mind, thinking of everything that he'd be leaving behind, his formidable mind trying to calculate a way out, trying to calculate any direction to head in that did not involve agony and premature death at the end of the road, because _oh_, he was no idiot, he knew exactly what awaited him at his father's house-

His mind was breaking the spirit of his soul.

Remus's stomach heaved and bile splattered the floor in front of him, and it heaved again and again and again as the iron taste of blood made itself apparent, both in his mouth and in the mess in front of him.

Faintly, he heard voices, and looked up only to see the horrified faces of James and Sirius in the doorway. The wolf was howling in the back of his mind, but all Remus could see was the horror etched firmly onto their faces.

And the disgust.

Remus felt something deep inside him shatter.

He saw Sirius move towards him, hand outstretched, and flinched back automatically, because it wasn't Sirius he saw anymore, but the tall, bearded figure of his father, with a silver poker in hand.

A hand fell onto his shoulder, and Remus began babbling. He wanted so desperately to explain, to tell them all about Romulus and his father and how his mother left and how he didn't want to die and how sorry he was because he was _sorrysorrysorrysorry _and then there were arms around him and the wolf was howling and tears were staining his hollow cheeks and he was dying inside and there was a great big black darkness rushing up to meet him-

**A/N: …You can all put those sharp things away now, ok? I mean, if you kill me, you'll never get the next chapter!  
Oh, and whoever can catch a line from Green Day's 21 Guns in here gets a chapter dedicated to them! Just leave both the line from the song and the slightly edited version of the line in here in a review, and you can get a dedication!  
Please review, love ya all!**


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